KENYAN PLAYER EPISODE 1



They were sitting at the far left end of a varsity football pitch which doubles up as a rugby pitch. Shady bent over to his left such that Faltalo’s back was covering him. He pulled out the joint from his rugged jeans and a lighter from his leather jacket.  He lit it but the wind was making it a little difficult for the dried herb to burn. He finally got it burning and he pulled the smoke into his lungs. A few seconds later he blew out rings of smoke into the afternoon air. Okay, maybe they were not rings exactly so let us say he blew out the smoke through his nose. I hope that makes it sound gangster enough because that is what I am going for.
v   
Shady: by the way Faltalo, are you still dating Linda? No, Sarah, or was it Annabel?
Mc’ Adams: shagging, dating, they are all the same right.
Faltalo: No I am not. It was Sarah.
Shady: I thought you were now keen on settling down?
Mc’ Adams: I told you, this guy will never be faithful.
Faltalo: I just haven’t found the right woman for me yet. A woman who will understand me, I don’t know if you get it.
[He takes the joint from shady, puts it between his index and middle finger then shakes off the ash by hitting the tail of the joint. Takes it to his mouth, looks Shady in the eye and says]
Please tell me you get it.
Mc’ Adams: is she still pregnant?
Shady: wait, she was pregnant?
Faltalo: she was lying. She was never pregnant. She is one of those possessive women who would do anything to keep a man.
Shady: that is not possessive, that is bitch ass crazy my guy!
Mc’ Adams:  that must have scared the hell out you.
[Describing how someone laughs is not exactly my area of expertise so I will just say he laughs out loud a lot for some time]
No wonder you started behaving weirdly all of a sudden. I was wondering what was up with you. You became too serious for this life.
Faltalo: fuck! I was running out of my mind. I was so scared you have no idea. I contemplated selling my stuff, go get a good bedsitter or one bedroom in mulolongo or kitengela and start life with her. I even started googling names. Reading the Bible, I was going crazy you guy.
Shady: how would you have told your parents that you are now a man? A man that is capable of siring another human into this crazy place.
Faltalo: I was not thinking about that. I would have just run away. Nobody would know where I am. I had even started calling her baby mama. She is just a girl you banged and now she has your baby and there is nothing you can do about it. She even blogged about it and said how she is excited to be pregnant. I don’t know why I didn’t see her crazy from the start.
[he gives the now almost finished joint to Mc’ Adams who holds it at the end with all his fingers and licks the ash onto his tongue then uses the tip of his index and thumb fingers to hold on one end of the joint]
Shady: but why is it so hard for you to be faithful? I don’t get it.
Faltalo: somethings you can never explain until you experience them. I am just looking for the right girl. I don’t want another heartbreak after Stella.
[he receives a call and just before he answers it, he remembers that he loves FIFA and also he is broke. The person calling is the almost baby mama and currently, they are still knowing each other carnally so why wouldn’t he benefit from this complication.]
 Almost baby mama: Hey babe. I miss you. I was just saying hi before you say anything.
Faltalo: I am good now baby but I have been arrested for being drunk and disorderly, would you happen to have any money on you?
[this might probably sound evil and bad but if I might argue for him; the love of FIFA can be a pretty crippling feeling.]
Almost Baby Mama: I have just sent someone all the money I had in my phone but let me see what I can do.
[I don’t know what would prompt this girl to send money to a guy like this but hey, could be love right? Or perhaps good sex maybe? No?]
[Faltalo hangs up, smiles and says]
Faltalo: Hey guys, I think we should go and play FIFA, I feel too good today. Plus I need to make sure you guys remember who is king.
[Mc’ Adams throws what is left to the ground below where they were sitting. Looks at the dying smoke on the grass and wonders why the unfinished cathedral they were sitting on has never been completed. He jumps down and steps on the almost burnt out joint with his brown boots. FIFA has made them extremely happy and excited. FIFA is good.]
Just another day in the life of a player. Today was a good day.


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