PLEASE DON'T LOVE ME
PLEASE DON’T LOVE ME.
What if the person you loved most in this world held a secret so deep and dark it could destroy your heart into a million pieces? Imagine sleeping next to this secret every night, feeling warm and safe as you cuddle through the cold nights. The lips you can’t wait to kiss every single moment you get the chance are the very same lips that took an oath of secrecy to deny you the opportunity to know the one thing that could completely put your entire life in ruin.
Could what you are feeling now be better than finding out the truth? What if we went deeper and tried to defend the person withholding the secret from you and in their defense say that, as their hands hold you at night their hearts sleep in fear, ashamed even, of the joy and happiness you are giving them. Let’s feign to feel sorry for them, that when they hug you so tight till you feel your hearts have completely become one it is because there is only one heart, your heart. Their heart has run away to hide behind the little lies they tell you to feel good about themselves.
What would be better now, continue to be in love oblivious of the secret or get your heart ripped out and hang at the cross of broken hearts? Perhaps there is another way, to find out the truth, be shuttered by this terrible secret and the little pieces of your heart brought together again by the satisfaction you get from hurting them too.
Sadly I am just but a simple author; neither do I have the moral authority to pick sides nor the freewill to make a decision in these circumstances. The story insists on speaking for itself and so shall it be.
The truth is that she was not the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Hell, even if it were raining she would probably not be his first choice to shelter from the rain with his umbrella. Yet she said the most beautiful things his heart has ever heard. Her eyes shone with a strange light that resonated with the beating of his heart. He told himself that the real reason his heart struggled so much to pump the blood through his veins was only so he could continue to speak to her.
All he had to do is listen to her speak and her voice would strip his soul naked. It would sooth his inflated ego; ignore his weaknesses as a man and exaggerate his better qualities. He got addicted to that feeling of being the perfect man in her eyes. Keep in mind that this is the very first time he is speaking to her. Did I not mention that from the beginning? Please confirm that before you proceed. Anyway, Clarence felt like he had fallen in love with Maria that very afternoon.
They spoke about the most foolish things and as it turns out, that was what his heart yearned for. Maria was like a flower after a storm; some petals would be covered with dirt from the ground, some would be scattered in the soil. Yet it would still be the most beautiful thing to gaze upon. If only she had asked, this was the perfect time for him to come out and tell her he had a girlfriend. For him not to lead her on in case she was equally interested in him but she never did so he saw no reason to ruin such a wonderful encounter.
Up to this point there is little suspense as to what happened afterwards. Of cause this is only true as far as the rest of the afternoon is concerned. I could write and say Clarence turned out to possess mythical powers and flew Maria home later that evening but it would still do very little to prepare you for what happened next………