I WANT TO DIE
“Hey,
how are you doing today?”
“I
am great.”
How many times have you lied about that when
deep inside you just want to scream and run around cursing and break into
tears? Because the truth is you are broken. You are slowly loosing yourself to
the people around you. Everyone takes a piece of you when they make you do
something you don’t want to but because you want to make them happy you smile
and let them take away a little of your happiness. Sometimes that person sleeps
next to you every night; he is the father of your kids. The guy you thought
loved every flaw on your body and spirit. That best friend that you think you
cannot do without.
So you take their mistakes and make them your
own. You keep burdening yourself. Making excuses for them. Let us try and
figure out why? Why would anyone suffer in silence for the mistakes and burdens
of others? The first answer that comes to my mind is the society. The
expectations it has created over the years for certain people to behave in a
certain way. Wives are always expected to be submissive, always living under
the rule of the husband. Girls are expected to dress in a descent manner,
always cross their legs while sitting. Always get the best grades in school for
it is the only way you can succeed in life. My point is, we are born into these
expectations and therefore for the rest of our short and miserable life we
endeavor to meet them.
You always want the society to see how happy
your marriage is but that guy that holds your hand while going to church is the
very same guy that raped you last night. The church can’t find that out, you
will be branded a bad wife. So what do you do? Your boyfriend is cheating on
you and you know it, but because you think you are getting too old and need to
settle down, you make excuses for him, say he is just scared of commitment and
deep down he loves you. You stay with him, though inside you are dying.
I say the society and the expectations it has
created can go f itself. How about when that man that calls himself the father
of your children tries to lay a hand on you, instead of crying and letting him
continue to hurt you, fight back. Show him how strong you really are. Fighting
back doesn’t always have to be physical but if you are physically strong too
why not. When your boyfriend is cheating
on you how about you leave him regardless what number your birthday says your
age is.
Then
there are those people who make you feel inferior like they are doing you a favor
just by being in the same room with you. They snatch away your self-esteem and
you always have to be around them for you to feel like you belong, like you are
wanted. I have few words for these groups, just cut them off. Move on, there
are better things ahead.
Let me finish with the kind that hurt you to
transfer their pain onto you. They pretend to be like a father and when no one
is watching, just when you feel comfortable with them, they take away your
innocence, your dignity, respect, joy, strength. These are the worst of them
all. Let us cast them into the lake of burning Sulfur. Let us watch them burn
and smile and when we turn back to leave them to their damnation; walk away
with our dignity, our respect. Let us carry our strength and joy with us. Take
our memories of the good qualities in us and just walk away.
So,
“how are you doing?”
They should burn in hell
ReplyDelete